Chapter4-2 : Everyone’s too busy with their own affairs to bother about you Even if you fail at some
When we quarrel with someone or are criticized for something we’ve done and a relationship turns sour, we tend to become anxious and unhappy, worrying that,
“That person seems to think badly of me. He must dislike me and wish I weren’t around.”
Then we start to avoid people and become suspicious, imagining all sorts of strange things, and end up unable to relate comfortably to others.
But think about it for a minute: Everybody’s too busy with their own affairs to bother much about the people around them.
When you realize that, you will feel much more comfortable.
I received the following message from Mr. Goto, a 80 81 Everyone’s too busy with their own affairs to bother about you Even if you fail at something, don’t get too depressed 2 reader of my email newsletter:
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my work recently. I worry that my bosses and colleagues are wishing I weren’t even in the workplace any more. It makes me depressed.”
I asked a few questions: “Are there people in your workplace who make even more mistakes than you do?”
“Yes, I would say so.”
“Are you always hoping that such people will leave the workplace? Do you want to get rid of them?”
“I might think that for a moment when their mistakes directly cause problems for me, but not for very long. I tend to forget about other people’s mistakes.”
“That’s right. If what they did causes you a problem, you get mad and think all kinds of things, but you forget about it in a day or two. And I think everyone’s that way, too.”
“Yes, I’m sure you’re right about that.”
“I think so. Today is Sunday. Do you suppose the person you are so worried about is spending his day off wishing you’d disappear from the workplace?”
“No, I doubt he’s thinking about me that much.”
Mr. Goto seemed considerably calmer as he gave this reply.
“Well then, who’s the one who’s actually thinking, ‘It would be better if Goto weren’t working here’?”
“I guess it’s me,” he answered, looking relieved.
“That’s right. Everyone’s too busy with their own affairs to bother much about the people around them.”
When I said that, Mr. Goto responded, “I guess I was more fearful than I needed to be, due to my mistakes. Thank you for your advice.”
He left looking much refreshed.
There’s nobody who’s able to do everything well.
Everybody makes mistakes occasionally, so it happens that one is scolded and rebuked at times.
But that’s limited to that particular time and place.
Just as you forget about your workmates on the weekend, they’re forgetting about you, too.
So, don’t fret yourself because of a quarrel, or a mistake, or because someone scolded you.
Reflect on your weaknesses and then plant good seeds for the future, and things will go well for you.